Whether we wish to admit it, when we grieve, our physical bodies are also affected.  Here are just some of the many symptoms we may experience to differing degrees:

— Crying, crying, crying.  The reason I say this is because most of us have bouts of crying. (Okay, so this is more so for the women than men.) At times, periods of intense sobbing and wailing overcome us.  Buckets of tears can also come at the most inappropriate moments, which may lead to embarrassment.

Even so, there are so many benefits to crying.  It’s a cleansing, a catharsis, which we really need. Please try not to restrict yourself by not crying when you need to. 

Other symptoms include:

— Dry mouth.

— A lump in your throat.

— Shortness of breath.

— Stomach aches.

— Nausea.

— Tightening in the chest.

— Poor appetite.

— Increased appetite.

— Body aches, stiffness of joints and muscles.

— Dizziness or faintness.

— Extreme fatigue, decreased energy levels.

— Restlessness, jitteriness.

— Exhaustion. 

— Inability to fall asleep at night.

— Sleeping all day and night.

— Eating too much.

— Not eating enough.

— Comforting yourself by rocking back and forth or side to side in a stationary chair.


The different levels of physical manifestations can be far-reaching.  It is imperative that you see your doctor as soon as you can.  He or she needs to know that you are going through the grieving process.

I wish I could tell you for certain that your physician will know a great deal about the grieving process.  Chances are, he or she’s had very limited education on this subject.  Most medical school curriculums do not teach about the grieving process, although this is beginning to change.  And this is encouraging.

A physician’s primary concern is to keep people alive. As such, he or she is not especially skilled at helping people die or in comforting the survivors after a patient’s death.  So, while physicians may not be the best choice to help us emotionally, they can help us physically.

One of the most difficult things for me to see, among members of our support groups, was just how many members simply neglected their bodies while they were going through the grieving process.  Because they felt so bad emotionally, they didn’t care for themselves physically.  You need to realize both go hand-in-hand.

Have your doctor give you a complete physical check‑up.  They may recommend a mild anti‑depressant for a short period of time to stabilize you when you need it most.  Or you may visit a homeopathic doctor who can also be quite helpful.  You should never be embarrassed if you need medication to help you get through.  Also, beware of taking very strong medication if you feel you don’t need it.  Heavy meds can leave you incapable of functioning and mask your feelings.  Doing so will only slow down your grieving process and take you that much longer to deal with your true emotions.

Remember, you are not superman.  Don’t act like it.  The medication may get you past the roughest times.  And later, you’ll see you won’t need it any longer.

As for the men...  I have unfortunately seen so many men who completely neglect their health, coupled by not participating in the grieving process.  They think they are made of steel.  Most won’t cry or allow themselves any outlet.  These same men have succumbed to stroke, heart attack, diabetes, even their own premature death.  They choose to go around it, under it and over it. They bypass it every way and it affects them physically.

Whether male or female, don’t let this happen to you.  Get to the doctor and nutritionist shortly after your loved one’s death and develop a plan for yourself.